Monday, January 18, 2010

Nurses Know All

A lovely discussion with a nurse at giant hospital on a Friday afternoon. Names have been changed to protect the inept.

Phat: "Hello, I have a question about the Effexor XR prescription you just sent us on patient John Q."

Super Nurse: "Okay go ahead."

Phat: "Well I sent you a fax saying the patients insurance prefers generic IR Effexor. The patient is okay with this, so I asked for a new prescription for that instead to avoid the PA paperwork."

Super Nurse: "Okay."

Phat: "Well you sent me a fax back for Effexor XR."

Super Nurse: "Okay."

Phat: "So... this is not what I asked for nor what the patient wants."

Super Nurse: "Ohhhh so you want a prescription for the regular Effexor"

Phat: *smacks head on counter* "Yes, that's what I'm saying"

Super Nurse: "Okay, I'll have the doc sign off on it and fax it back to you"

Phat: "Great. Can I make one other suggestion?"

Super Nurse: "Sure"

Phat: "Well you wrote this for Effexor XR 225mg 1CQD, but that dosage does not exist in a single capsule. Thought I would let you know in case you try to do a PA on that."

Super Nurse: "But it's listed in our software as existing"

Phat: "I realize it is listed there, but it doesn't really exist"

Super Nurse: "But if its in the database it has to exist. Are you sure?"

Phat: *Head now smashes through countertop* "Yes I'm sure it doesn't exist"

Super Nurse: "I don't understand though, its in our database so you must be able to get it"

Phat: "Right... databases can be wrong. I can assure you that it does not exist"

Super Nurse: "Huh. That's weird, our databases are always right. I'll google it later and double check. Thanks!"

*** Click ***

My freakin' God... And you guys wonder why we bitch about nurses sometimes. That woman coulda used a 2x4 upside the head a few times.

I mean its shocking, fucking shocking, that their database could be wrong.

Anyone miss the days when they actually had to write things out and not rely on drop down menus?

7 comments:

Pharmgirl said...

Reminds me of some of the nurses at Sacred Spleen. Some of our nurses are great and some of them, it's like "holy cow... how did you manage to graduate?"

The Cynical Intern said...

If you want to get technical, it does exist in form of the Venlafaxine ER 225 tablets, and seeing as I have no doubt that the sales staff has been lying and saying that it's a generic when it's not, she may not be entirely in the wrong. Or she is, but isn't distinguishing between the tablets and capsules.

Phathead said...

The Rx was written specifically for Effexor XR 225 1 Capsule Daily

Grumpy, M.D. said...

You mean computers can be WRONG?

NO!

Frantic Pharmacist said...

Yep, I love it when the computer system generates a prescription for a product that doesn't exist. And you can't get anyone to believe you either... yeah, I'm just a pharmacist -- what do I know?

Anonymous said...

+1....

Anonymous said...

She doesn't believe you but she'll goole it later to check. LOVE IT! Bet she has a link to Wikipedia on the desk top too!