That's not my Doctor

Phone Rings

"Hi there, I just picked up one of my meds and I want to know why you put the wrong doctor on my bottle. I don't know who this guy is and he's not my doctor and I don't want him on my bottle because he's not my doctor. He could be trying to kill me because he's not my doctor so I why did you put his name on my bottle?"

And what did it say on her bottle? Dr. Reddy's. Gotta love workin in the ghetto.

On that note, Happy Halloween everyone!

Note: For those not in the field, Dr Reddy's is one of the drug manufactures, which by law has to be on the bottle...

You know what's fun?

I'm a college student and thus a part time employee at the shithole local chain I work for. For much of my college career though I have been working between 25-40 hours a week during the school year to pay bills. I have asked my manager numerous times if I was eligible for full time status. That way I could get vacation, paid holidays and all those other luxuries. Every time I was shot down.

I was bored today, it was nice out so the Vic-fiends were going for a walk.... oh I'm just kidding they were probably passed out in the yard, but I digress.. anywho I decided to call the woman who runs our payroll to see what my average has been the last year. She tells me it's 31.26 hours (30 hours means you're full time). I asked her how long have I've been eligible, she goes through the records and tells me 'About two years or so."

Now I've mentioned before how many different ways I've taken it up the ass from this place. How I've covered for gross negligence from their pharmacists and looked the other way when multiple federal laws were broken on one script. My manager is well aware of these facts as I bitch to her quite often about them. And come to find out this is how she repays me? By lying to me and withholding what I have rightfully earned?

Oh tomorrow shall be a very very fun Halloween at work....

But I Need Them!

About a week ago The Angriest Pharmacist posted a story about the creativity some patients had in phoning in a fake script. At the time I somewhat applauded the ingenious nature of this plan and thought that perhaps the druggies were becoming slightly more intelligent.

Ladies and Gentleman I am dismayed to inform you that I was wrong. I was very very wrong. Cuddle up next to the fire, have a warm milk toddy (does that sound dirty to anyone else) and enjoy this lovely tale.

Yesterday a gentleman... a man... this druggie comes in asking to pick up his mother's hydrocodone. We can't find it anywhere and check our signature logs and it shows that his sister was in the day before and had picked it up. He became furious and said that she was not allowed to pick up meds for his mother (they are regulars, but this was news to us.) Next he called his mother and confirmed that the daughter had never brought her the drugs. He then demanded that we fill them again since his sister picked them up. Do you want to know why?

Note: Now I have worked in pharmacy for over eight years now with half of that time being spent in the ghetto. I have been robbed, I have had things thrown at me, I have been threatened and I have had to ask a 400lb woman to exit the store because she was wearing a size small tube top and, what I hope, where short shorts but really looked like a thong. I have seen and heard damn near everything until yesterday.

His reason for wanting another refill was that his sister didn't give him his 'cut' of the tablets. Yes, he wants us to fill it again because his sister sold them and didn't give him any money. In fact he even stated that he needed to sell them to 'make some money' this weekend. Suppressing a laugh I suggested maybe he should contact his mother's doctor with that explanation and see if he could get an early refill.

And the dumbass did it. I came to work today and found out that he had called her doctor and told them the exact same story he told us. Now think about this for a moment. He asked to have pain meds filled early so he could sell them. I mean I've seen people a few fries short of a happy meal before, but this guy was missing the goddamn box the happy meal comes in.

Needless to say he did not get his early refill and I am left even more dismayed with mankind than I once was. I thought the TAestP offered a hope that maybe their intelligence was rising, but alas that hypothesis has been shot to hell. How sad.

Don't Mess With My Mountain Dew

I've mentioned before I'm a Mountain Dew fiend. I have postulated that there is nicotine or some other addictive chemical in it which causes me to crave it. Even though I have switched mainly to Diet Dew (getting older means eating healthier) it is still my biggest vice.

I am also a logo fiend. I was originally going to go to school for graphic design, until I realized how over saturated that market is, and have developed an admiration for logos. One of my favorite blogs, listed above, is Uni Watch simply because the site analyzes logos and colors on sports teams. It's also a part of the reason I love NASCAR so much. Over the years I have developed a sort of understanding in the design and use of logos. Additionally I understand name and product branding in a market. Hell I notice tiny little changes on drug bottles (I hated when Femara switched their logo).

Now these two worlds have combined and I am severely pissed off. Not only have they taken one of the coolest looking, and most fitting logo for it's clientele, and changed it into something you would find on an AARP card, but they have also changed the name of the product.

Mtn Dew? Are you fucking kidding me?

And I won't even get into the new Pepsi logo....er logos and how they make literally no sense. Plus changing one of the most famous logos in the world just seems like a bad idea. I shall say a prayer today that PepsiCo will not fuck up my beloved addiction. If they do I may just have to switch to Vault.... uck.

Links to the new PepsiCo logos:
Bottles
Logos

HIPPA is getting out of hand...

The local chain I work for is about to go through a Medicare accreditation program over the next several weeks. Earlier this week we were given today the 'revised' HIPPA rules we will soon have to follow. They are some of the most assine rules I have ever read. The kicker? We're no longer allowed to have notes on our computer stations. No NPIs, no diagnosis codes, no phone numbers, no program cheat sheets, nada.

The reasoning? So if someone breaks in they can't steal all of that 'important' information. We all know that the first thing someone does when they break into a pharmacy is to go and copy down an NPI number or the fax number to our bookkeeping. I mean this is a critical area that requires the uptmost protection! Plus now they'll know how to restart our laser printer! It's an even bigger annoyance to me because I had just made neat little lists of all NPIs, ICD-9 codes, computer short cuts and etc for all the stations in the business. Hell we can't even have the id's that tell us what screens are what on our monitors.

And the solution to this? Keeping it in a little notebook next to the terminal. Instead of writing down that diagnosis code for GERD, they can't just take the whole damned book with them.

I've always thought HIPPA does have it's good points. In hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea to go "Mr. Johnson, your pain medication is ready" over the intercom. And I can understand the need to shred pertinent patient information rather than just dumping it in the trash like we used to. This takes it to a whole new level though.

Our job just got a little big harder for really no logical reason. And people wonder why pharmacy employees are so bitter at times...

I Am Politcally Incorrect

Anyone who personally knows me, knows this to be true. I often laugh at things that probably shouldn't be laughed at. I like to push people's buttons. My close friend's call me the biggest, most polite asshole they've ever met. And I take that as a compliment.

In honor of me being politically incorrect I thought I would share a website I frequent. Some of you may be offended by it, some of you may laugh your ass off. I personally own a couple of shirts from this site.

Without further ado I present to you... T-Shirt Hell

Brain power is not required

Woman came to the drive-thru window today to pick up her scripts. Her window doesn't roll down, so naturally she parks a few feet away, gets out, and walks up to the DRIVE-thru window. I should mention that it is currently 49 degrees and she was wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

Naturally I took my time getting it ready. I figured it would be a good life lesson for this 40-something woman. After I leisurely strolled back to the window and gave her the bag, she commented,

"Boy it sure is chilly out here today."

To which I responded with a big smile,

"Yeah, but it's toasty warm in here today."

I'm hoping it dawned on her then, but the expression on her face told me it didn't. Oh well, I'll try again next time.

LiceMD

NOTE: I realized a few months after posting this how completely and utterly incorrect my statements are. As such there is no need to call me names, question my 'brain power' or question my sexuality. I ask that the emails and comments pertaining to this please stop.

If you had a bunch of insects crawling upon your head would you not want to rid yourself of such a problem as quickly as possible? I mean I know I sure as hell would dump Nix, Lindane and Ovide all over my head. Burn the fuckers to death, that's my motto.

If you do not wish to use such 'pesticides' on your, or your child's, head there's always LiceMD. What is LiceMD you may ask? Why it's an all natural solution to your lice infestation! Brought to you by the company whom markets such great homeopathic products as SleepMD, JointMD, HeartburnMD and others. With MD in the name, it's gotta be a great product!

I'll let some of you layman know what homeopathic medications really are. Hold on lemme consult the pharmacy lexicon:

ho·me·o·path·ic . n. def: Substance so watered down with fillers and other worthless garbage that eating the box has more therapeutic effect than taking said medication

There ya have it, it's generally a pile a crap. Usually it's some 'ancient' remedy recently rediscovered which has some how escaped all scientific study and is suddenly better than anything else in the world. Airborne comes to mind. And everyone now knows, much like I did when it first came out, what a load of shit that product is. Anyone who doesn't go google 'Airborn lawsuit' and have your mind blown away.

And now they've come out with LiceMD. It contains dimethicone which sound's like a fancy lice killing machine. I'm sure they were attempted to incorporate some impressive looking picture of dimethicone squashing lice. What dimethicone is really used for is in lotions and shampoos, generally as a lubricant. So those little lice, who are so tightly gripping your hair follicles, are being covered with the equivalent of Crisco. Hell I betcha Crisco works just as good, if not better, than LiceMD.

When your child is sent home from school from lice, as is the general practice today, are you going to go for the 'safe and natural' LiceMD and make the annoying bastards a little slippery? Or are you going to go to the proven chemicals that will actually rid your child of the infestation? Yes I have seen cases of chemical burns due to some of these products, Ovide comes to mind, but that has always been from some woman on Medicaid who picked up nine Rx's for Ovide for her nine kids and then let them bathe in it all day. Granted, LiceMD will prevent this, but so will rubbing my head with animal feces. And personally, I don't like shit on my head, but to each their own.

Let's have a review of what we have learned today;

1) Homeopathic products are generally as good as the box they came in. Actually just eat the box, a little roughage will be good for you

2) Crisco will work as well as LiceMD. Hell, if you don't believe me I'll send you a can marked CriscoMD and you'll swear it's the most amazing scientific discovery this side of the moon!

3) Once again, homeopathic items are as worthless as promise to payback a Medicaid copay

Now that you have been enlightened, you shall be able to sleep easily tonight and without the need to scratch your head. No SleepMD or LiceMD for you!

I will say CriscoMD on pubic lice could be a messy endeavor and I do not condone that. Just use KY, that's what it's made for!

On November 4th...

While you go to the polls I want you to remember this face....



I bet Drug Monkey is laughing his ass off at the moment...

I'm a 100% Nerd

You know how you can tell when you're a nerd? I just got a reminder email from Amazon earlier today and I was a happy as a junkie getting his Lortab. It was a reminder that The Universe comes out on Blu-Ray soon. What's The Universe you may ask? Well...



It's a show on The History Channel (although I guess it's just History now) about, you guessed it, the Universe. You see not only am I a pharmacy nerd, I'm also a nerd in general. I usually dig through Charter On-Demand to find something on Nat Geo or The Science Channel or History that I haven't seen yet. Usually something about space or science history or shit like that. Big fan of Naked Science on Nat Geo too. I used to watch How It's Made a lot too until I bored the fiance to death by explaining how cardboard boxes were made. For some reason she didn't find that as interesting as I did.

So I can admit, I'm a nerd. Hell I actually once looked for a pocket protector for my lab coat. Not too long ago my glasses were held together with tape. Odd thing is I don't belong to the science club on campus. Perhaps everyone should send their condolences to my future missus. She shall have to put up with this for the rest of her life. Poor her.

Ooooh look what else is on my list...



Yea yea stop laughing, I'll go back to the nerd cave now....

They're out to get you..

I'm studying Microbio tonight in my campus's student center for a test I have on Wednesday. Amazingly wicked class by the way, anyone who has a remote interest in pharmacy should take this course even if it's not required. Anywho I was on a stretch of getting up to do research at 7:30am, did that to 10am, then class from 10-2pm, then work from 2-6pm, then studying after that. It was about 9:30pm and I was tired, but still kickin ass.

Was reading about proton motile force, ATP production, all sorts of fun stuff like that. Was kind of confused when reading a few sections because they kept mentioning words that they hadn't defined earlier (big pet peeve of mine regarding textbooks). After studying it for about 45 minutes it dawned on me.

The Citric Acid Cycle = The Krebs Cycle = the Tricarboxylic Acid Cycle (TCA Cycle)

I shit you not in the chapter they would switch off between using these terms and actually defined as The Citric Acid Cycle. Apparently the authors thought it would be fun to fuck with my exhausted mind by switching the names around. Pretty sure I'd like to send a flaming bag of dog shit in their direction.

It's now 1:30am, I've switched from Microbio to Econ since I can't sleep and felt the need to vent about that. Still gonna mail them that bag of dog shit. Just have to figure out how to light it remotely now...

Argus/Humana Ride the Short Bus

Mysterious Voice - "Thank you for calling Argus, my name is Cletus can I have your NPI, DEA, Social Security number, State registration number, Astrological sign, turn ons, turn offs and your favorite color please?"

Me - "Gives them all the info they want plus the last time I took a piss just as a little bonus for them"

Cletus - "And what can I do for you today ma'am?"

Me - (That's a good way to piss me off) "I'm trying to process a claim for a Humana member but am getting a DUR reject that I cannot clear"

Cletus - Asks for patient info and drug

Me - "... drug is Lunesta 3mg, 20 tablets for 20 days. Patient had been getting 30 tablets for 30 days for the last nine months with no issues."

Cletus - "Well let's see here...." (Page's flipping) "Well I think you... I think you need to get a prior auth on that drug"

Me - "But we have had no issues in the past with it, and I just filled a similar one for another patient under the same plan today. Has it gone off formulary?"

Cletus - "I can't tell you that, the member would have to call us."

Me - "Ok... if it needs a PA then, why is my reject saying 'Suboptimal Regimen'?

Cletus - "Uh...."

Me - "Seems to me that it would be helpful if you needed a PA for that script to have the reject say, oh I don't know, 'PA Required for this drug'?"

Cletus - "Well... uh... the patient's just going to have to call to find out."

Me - "So you want me to have a 93 year old woman with dementia call you because you can't give me a proper reject nor give me a single replacement option?"

Cletus - "That is correct. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

Me - *Click*

First who gives you a reject that isn't actually the reject? I mean we have one insurance that will occasionally reject saying 'Drug not covered for sex' when all it wants is a new NDC. This was just crazy.

Second, why the hell couldn't they at least give me an option. Shit they usually give you various options with the reject.

And that's how my week started...

Weird Search Terms

Not sure if I mentioned this, but if you google 'midget transvestite porn' for some reason my blog is the first link to show up. Disturbing is it not? It due to this post here but I find it even more disturbing that at least once a week I see that that particular search term brought someone to my blog. That means someone out there really is looking for midget transvestite porn. Ugh

Other fun search terms to find my blog

Lost Testicles
Will my testacles explode?
Hobble Testicles
Can nitroquick fuck you up?
my girlfriend want to see my balls
I love tramadol
in bed problem girlfriend testicles
testicle gets twisted around?
testicle spaghetti

Obviously there is a theme here. I also get a ton of hits off of 'U-500 Insulin' and 'Qualquin'. So if you're looking for testicle information, I guess this is the place to come to. Just call me the testicle king...

Research Sucks

Since the start of this semester I have been doing research with my microbiology professor. I've always considered myself open to research at some point in my life, and I figured this would look good on pharmacy school apps. After four weeks of it do you know what I have realized?

I hate research.

This is one of the most tidious things I have ever done. The whole concept we're working on is quite interesting (we're trying to prove a factor of evolution via bacteria) but the procedure is mind-numbingly boring. The worst part is, you get pissed off at least twice a week because of it.

Example, I needed to amplify some DNA to run a gel to figure out how many kilobases this fragment of DNA has. You amplify using a PCR which takes 2-3 hours. The gel itself takes about 1-2 hours to run. All together to get the data you need, you must wait up to 5 hours, not including all the prep work. After all of this, you go to look at the gel under UV and what do you see? Absoutly nothing. Fuckin' gel did not work for some reason. All that work for jack shit.

Really doesn't help I'm doing this at 8 in the morning (I am NOT a morning person). And the fact that my day usually doesn't end until 7pm due to classes/work. As of today I have decided to give research a big ole screw you as I shall not be doing this ever again. Now to squeeze in a short nap before stats....

I Shall Kill Your Brain Cells

I like stupid things. They make me laugh. I'm young, I'm male, it happens. First time I saw this I nearly wet myself. Plus you'll find yourself doing the voice anytime you meet someone named Charlie....

This Is So Sexy

I know I'm a nerd (I mean c'mon I have a neon Valu-Rite sign) but there is nothing better than all the drugs in the drug bays being faced. Had a ton of free time on Friday so I decided to redo them all and yank outdates. It is so bloody beautiful..