Is there any worse existence than that of a Suppository? Seriously think about it, your three options are rectal, urethral or vaginal. And you know, since your a suppository, that you're jumping into some sort of genital/rectal warfare. Lets break it down a bit:
Rectal Suppository
Perhaps the smelliest location for suppositories, it can be guaranteed that this is a shitty existence. You would only be needed for such purposes as a shit clog (because liquid plumber doesn't work down there) or the always exhilarating inflammation of rectal veins, otherwise known as Hemorrhoids.
Seriously, how exciting is that? You're either going to be entering some place bloody and swollen or once you arrive you will be greeted with a wall of solid shit. The irony of the wall of shit situation is your job is to break down the wall of shit. Truly a splendid job.
Vaginal Suppository
Being inserted into a vagina is the goal of many beings in our world. However as a suppository, you earn this privilege at the most inopportune time. The vagina you could be entering could have an odor similar to bread. You would be blessed with fighting the most lively of all enemies, yeast.
Or perhaps there could be a vaginal infection. Honestly, is there nothing more enjoyable for a vaginal suppository than a vaginal discharge? I think not.
Urethral Suppository
Easily the tightest fitting, and most scary, suppository in existence. One could argue that it takes a man to shove a suppository up his pee hole, yet another could argue that a real man would not need such a device. Plus, when you're in the mood for.... extracurricular activities, wouldn't you think having to shove something up your one-eyed monster ruin the mood?
The next time you purchase or dispense any of these items, I ask you to think of this. The show Dirty Jobs exemplifies the jobs suppositories to. Maybe we should give them their own holiday...
3 comments:
Gotta remember, Phathead, there used to be, and I suppose still are, things WORSE than a urethral suppository.
There used to be a drug that needed to be injected into the winkie to give you a woody. And I suspect that's even worse for the mood.
'Caverject' is still around. In fact, we have one box in our refrigerator. Of course, you inject it into the shaft not the 'winkie' if I understand what that is meant to be.
lol
Ah, thank you BigEvil.
"Winkie" I use to refer to the entire object.
My point (no pun intended) is the same. Sticking needles in there is not something that I'd consider a mood-enhancer or aphrodisiac, though in some parts I'm sure it is.
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