Lidocaine Injection + Nerve = Jesus Sighting

In honor of this blog's 200th post (mini-wave for me!) I thought it would be best to share yet another interesting story from my recent life. (Note: I meant to post this over a week ago, but set the scheduled date wrong. I rock)

It was T-Minus 8 days to the big PCAT test. While walking towards the library I noticed a pain in my right foot. I ignored it at the time as I was determined to be a good student and study all night. When I finally arrived back home I decided to see just what the hell was wrong. I was then greeted with a purple and black swollen big toe. Diagnosis: Ingrown Toenail.

Fucking spectacular. Eight days before my test and this occurs. I should mention that I no longer have insurance coverage and I'm a poor college student. Needless to say I was a happy camper.

Using what knowledge I have I decided to rid my self of the infection in order to make it through the test. I proceeded to drain the infection and became diligent in cleansing it several times a day. Yet after a couple days the pain had no subsided. I decided it was time to bring my ass into the clinic.

The PA (whom had the most impressive and disgusting mail camel toe ever) who inspected me noted what a good job I did removing the infection (go me!) but then said he would have to get in there and cut the little bastard nail. I went along with it and hopped up on the table prepared for this wonderful experience. He stated he would numb my toe with lidocaine. I told him to bring it on.

Now apparently to numb an area such as your big toe I found out they have to inject it directly into the nerve. He also stated that there's no easy way to find where it is so he would have to slowly move the needle deeper into my toe to find it. I didn't think it was terribly bad at first. I mean I wasn't singing and enjoying a woody, but it wasn't bad. I mentioned I felt a tingle, but he slyly replied that that wasn't it. I asked what I should be looking for and he said I would know.

With another short jab I felt a bit of a burning sensation, which I relayed to the PA. He then, being the sadomasochist he is, jabbed that needle into the nerve. I have never felt such pain in my life. Everything went white, I became dizzy and I'm almost positive I saw Jesus. Although he was wearing a tie-dyed shirt and was pointing and laughing at me. No idea what that means.

After letting the area numb, and letting me regain my barrings the procedure was completed. That part was nothing compared to my Jesus moment. I think I have some idea what it's like to give birth now. Women, I do not envy you.

So if you are ever told you shall be getting a shot in this manner, heed my warning. Brace yourself. It's gonna hurt like a son of a bitch.