Full Moon

There are stretches where you reach a point where you don't know what the hell is going to happen. Maybe a madman will come in with a clown and demand all the Snickers bars. You honestly just have no friggin' clue. I am wrapping up one of those weeks. Lets tally whats all happened in the past week.

1) Patient 1: I'd like to call in some refills, but I don't know the numbers. I'm pretty sure I know what my name is

2) Patient 2: I need my Lexapril filled for my asthma (Lexapro is an antidepressant, Lisinopril is a blood pressure med)

3) Went to open a box of vials and found, instead of vials, 13 boxes of Pulmicort 0.1. Opened the next box and found the same thing. Turns out someone returned them to our wholesaler in vial boxes, who then thought they were vials, and then shipped them to us when we ordered vials. Paid $70 bucks for $9,500 of meds. Ka-ching

4) Patient 3: I hope you, your family and your future children burn in hell for all eternity. (when I asked to see the paper with her insurance information on it)

5) Me: I need to know when your transplant was so I can bill this to Medicare.
Patient 3: Its in your goddamn file for me
Me: Ma'am we're a pharmacy, we don't have all of your medical records especially when you had your transplant
Patient 3: Why the fuck do you need to know that information?
Me: So I can bill your insurance for it
Patient 3: Who the fuck told you to fucking bill my insurance?
Me: Ma'am the total cost of this prescription costs over $7,000
Patient 3: No it doesn't, its free cause you're an asshole and you're just gonna give it to me
(Note: This exchange actually happened and was conducted with me in a very calm voice and her screaming at the top of her lungs)

6) Patient 4: Do you have that pill for when you get drunk and wake up next to some chick?

7) Received a prescription for a child named Pepsi. No joke.

8) Patient 5: I found these on the floor and I wanna know what medication they are
Me: (Looking closely) I believe they are dried peas...
Patient 5: That's what I thought, thanks!

Honestly, it never comes in small doses, they always fucking come in these large droves. Most of that occurred on the same day. Worst part is you don't have time to pee and you start laughin' from this shit and you have to try your best from squirting in your pants.

Now THAT'S the shit they should teach in pharmacy school, how to not piss your pants while laughing at customers at work. I'm such a genius at times