I. Hate. Christmas Music.

Ya know for some reason, every year, the bigwigs think its a brilliant idea to start the X-mas music on November 1st. I am convinced now that they are trying to entice us to kill ourselves.

If Santa were to walk through the door right now, I'd shove a hot curling iron up his ass. If Rudolph strolled in, I'd shoot his ass and throw him my fryin pan for dinner. If the Little Drummer-Boy walked in... well I'd drum on his goddamn head.

Part of it is the music is so damned happy. Fuck that, I don't want to hear happy shit at work. When you're pissed the last thing you wanna hear is someone saying "Ya know is SUCH a beautiful day outside." At that point you contemplate kicking them straight in the balls or ovaries (or both if possible). So as I sit on hold for someone who is bitching at me because they didn't file their insurance paperwork on time I hear "I Wish You a Merry Fucking Christmas" over the store radio and I hear the same shit on the other side of the phone.

And what the fuck is with worshipping a fat old man who gets to have random kids come and sit on his lap? Eleven months out of the year that is called a pedophile. But nooooooooo during the X-mas season its ok if some creepy old man slides down your chimney, eats all your damn cookies and fondles your little boy while he sleeps. While we're at it maybe we should glorify a rapist during Easter or maybe drug addicts during Thanksgiving.

Maybe I'm a scrooge. Maybe its because the lil drummer boy is on the radio for the 29,392nd time today. Maybe it's finals. Maybe I'm really a woman and I'm having PMS. All I know is, Fuck Santa, Fuck Rudolph, Fuck Bing Crosby and Fuck the 12 Days of Christmas. I want a beer.