Saturday, December 5, 2009

Smile, You're On Camera!

Recently one of our stores received a shiny new camera system. The kicker is the 'new and improved' color digital cameras produce a massively shittier image than the old black and white ones.

Whatever.

With this new system, we received an extra four cameras. Our initial thoughts were, "Cool! We can finally see that deep dark corner of the store where the trolls live and people steal shit." Ok, not really, but you see what I'm getting at.

So we stroll into the pharmacy the other day, preparing for the hell that is the first of the month and we see they installed the new cameras... all in the pharmacy.

Now you're thinking, "But Phathead, that is to prevent internal theft of narcotics and things of that nature."

Again, this would be the logical assumption... if it were true.

You see all the cameras are placed so they can view us as we work. There are no cameras on the C-II cabinet nor where we keep our cases, yes I said cases, of various hydrocodone strengths. Instead they are placed to watch us work each and every day.

And the feed goes straight to the owner's office AND his home. Isn't technology wonderful?

Now that we are effectively a part of a voyeur program, whatever shall we do?

The answer? Well it involves choreography. You see we figured if we're gonna be watched like this, we're gonna fuck with them. We're planning a bit of a dance routine and I am in the market for a gorilla suit.

Can you imagine what the hell's gonna be going through his head when he looks up and sees us dancing Chorus Line style? It'll be brilliant!

4 comments:

TiredRPh said...

Don't forget to pick your nose, roll it up, and put it in the next vial you fill!

Anonymous said...

I worked for a MD that had 6 staff members (all part time, one was his wife) and 16 cameras in the office. He called once from Asia to let someone know that one of the lights had been left on and to make sure that they were all off when the office closed. Creepy.

Anonymous said...

Y'know. This really sounds illegal, creepy, and annoying for someone who occasionally has to scratch their back.

The Redheaded Pharmacist said...

Don't forget to implement the double: scratching your ass AND picking your nose at the same time! I once was in a situation like that at work and I remember thinking up something to screw with my boss: I had a friend that was a local policeman that was kind enough (on a slow day with no customers in the store) to come into the store, go to the pharmacy, and act like he was arresting me in the middle of my shift, lol. My boss almost had a heart attack! Classic!