Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Pharmacy = Dental Office?

It was a regular Friday night. Lortab junkies calling every 5 minutes, everyone is leaving town (when in reality they're probably not gonna leave the couch) and I'm counting the minutes until freedom. And then a woman walks in. I know this woman. I know she probably believes the sky is purple. In three years of seeing her once a month I don't think I've seen her sober once. She is usually polite though, so I just go along with it.

That day was slightly different. I watched her stumble in her own way up to the pharmacist. She was politely greeted and she responded that she needed a favor.

Now on a Friday night a favor is a couple of Soma on the side, maybe a five spot for some beer. This Friday night was not a night for one of those regular questions. This question reminded me that there was a full moon outside.

"I got a small favor," she asks, "I got a dentist appointment on Monday cause my tooth hurts real bad, but I don't want to wait so can you just yank it out for me right now?"


Needless to say the pharmacist just kind of stood there speechless. Had this woman really just asked a pharmacist to yank her tooth out? Was he expected to sit her in one of our chairs, grab a pair of pliers and just tug at it until it popped out? Needless to say he politely told her she should just wait until Monday as that was not his expertise. She kindly told us to have a nice weekend and stumbled back out of the door.

Honestly I don't know what the hell to think of this. Perhaps I shall head to the eye doctor and ask for a vasectomy. Maybe go to Cub later and ask them if they have any deals on TVs. Or maybe I'll just chalk this up to the fact that she's a druggie, it was Friday and a full moon. Now that I think of it, I do need a dentist appointment....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Was she by any chance British? British pharmacists are legally allowed to remove teeth in emergencies (though I know of no occasion when one has done so).

Phathead said...

Nope this was just a local woman who normally stumbles in once a day.