Balancing Act

How freakin' cool is this?



My partner-in-crime co-tech (I gotta think of a better name for him) discovered this while refilling a cell earlier. It was a Lortab 7.5 for those who are wondering (and if you can't see it check out the door near cell C-20). It's proper cell was 12 cells up, so it fell quite a ways.

Don't think I've ever seen one land so perfectly before. Is it an oman? Are we about to feel the wrath of the pharmacy Gods? Am I going to get more gray hairs? Only time shall tell...

I Met a Deer Fucker

You remember that game you would play on long car rides when you were a kid? Mark off when you'd see a particular license plate or certain car. Can't remember the name of it for the life of me, but for the last couple weeks I've been making one related to pharmacy. Today I was able to check off one of those items.

I met a deer fucker.

And not just a regular deer fucker, a dead deer fucker.

How do you talk to such a person? Do you ask him if it had a nice rack? Or if he'd ever mount one again?

The better question, how the hell do you keep a straight face while talking to a guy you know porked a dead animal. Twice.

We all have our weird fetishes. But if you're sitting at home on a Saturday night with some Kleenex and your favorite bottle of lotion and this is what you're thinking of:



Well I'm gonna have to say somethin' just ain't right with you.

The one benefit? I can mark of something on the list few others will be able to. Booyah!

Pandemic 09'!

This swine flu thing is getting just fucking ridiculous. CNN.com has a Swine Flu Tracker. Yes, a tracker. See this piece of douchbaggery here - http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/30/swine.flu.outbreak/index.html#cnnSTCOther2

Is this what our society has come to? Mass hysteria over 300 cases of a flu virus in a population of 6+ billion? Are we that fucking paranoid? Everywhere I go, I see that masks and antiseptic washes are sold out. Never mind the fact we are on the exact opposite side of the country from the border of Mexico, we must be prepared!

The strange thing is, why the hell isn't anyone speaking up about this? You can't tell me there is not a high-up educated individual who doesn't realize what a crock of shit all of this is. I mean if this is nearing pandemic proportions, obviously we have overlooked the great Gonorhea Pandemic of 2005. Or perhaps the Stye Pandemic of 1981.

As a society would should be disgusted with ourselves for letting something like this happen. Personally, I shall be using our store's wiffle ball bat to smack any person upside the head if they start saying they think they have swine flu.

I'll leave you with one last thought, anyone know one of the defintions for swine?

3. a coarse, gross, or brutishly sensual person.
4. a contemptible person.

I think that's all I really need to say about that

Divorce vs Murder

A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide.'

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide? '

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

-------

On that note, everyone have a wonderful and drug filled weekend.

Thanks for the story Julie

Another idiot medical 'professional'

I have been at work now for.... oh about 63 minutes to be exact. Already I have been dealing with a semi-retard NP.

Faxed off a refill request for a patient that had been on Metformin 750mg BID since the dawn of time. The response I got back?

Metformin 90mg TID

First off, I've never seen a Metformin TID dose. Everything we deal in is BID. Secondly, I've never seen a 90mg dose because they don't fucking make it. Finally the patient had been on 750mg BID dosing for at least seven years. If anything it probably needs to go up.

The sad thing is the NP keeps stating she wants the patient on 90mg TID. Even when I tell her the smallest tablet we can get is 500mg, she still wants 90mg. What. The. Fuck?

Anyone have any idea where the hell she pulled this dose out of?



Edit: I just got a script from another NP for Suprex. Suprex was taken off the market in 2003. Jesus...

Does anyone take Methadone seriously?

Woman came in at the end of a shift to drop off a Methadone Rx for her mother. Her mother has been a patient of ours for decades, so we knew her quite well. She had been in a nursing home the past three months and had only recently been released. What I recieved the Rx I noticed right away that something was wrong. It was written as:

Methadone 10mg, 1tQID

With our Methadone patients I take a special note as to what they usually get and I immediately recognized that this was an increase. Previously she had been on:

Methadone 5mg, 1tTID

So I ask the patient's daughter if there had been a dose increase. She stated that there wasn't, the doc refilled it with the same directions as before. I decided to give the doc a call to see what was up. And do you know what she told me?

She couldn't remember what she was on so she just guessed.

Fucking guessed. On Methadone.

Never mind the fact it would take literally two minutes to check past records, this doc simply decided to take a shot at what it was previously.

How Methadone is legal in this country I have no idea. It is probably the most dangerous prescription medication on the market. The last few years, docs are handing this shit out like candy. We have several patients that are on 600+ tablets a month (our current record holder gets #900 a month) and have been on those doses for what seems like ever. Half the time they show up shit faced to pick it up. Brilliant idea, no?

I just do not understand the lax standards when it comes to Methadone lately. The pharmacist and I both told the patient that she may want to consider a new doc after what occured.

At least we'll prevent one dumbass Methadone prescription.