Mountain Dew Contains Crack

I have no other explanation for this. I can see a bottle or can of Mountain Dew and start craving it. I can think of a bottle or can of Mountain Dew, and start craving it. I know its not the caffeine because I switched to the caffeine free Dew for a while just to test that theory. Its like my body needs it.

So I have come to the conclusion that Mountain Dew contains crack. To me theres no other obvious solution to the problem. Perhaps this is PepsiCo's plan... kind of like the cigarettes companies.

Eh screw it, I'm goin to the store to get me a Dew!

What to do on a slow day

We have been open for a shade under two hours and have filled a whopping 13 prescriptions. I figure its because its 15 below outside right now and even the druggies aren't willing to go out in this weather. So what do you do with all this free time you might ask?

Well so far I have a mini golf course set up in the store. I found some sand pails, which we're using for the holes, and a box of golf balls. I have gnomes as my 'trees' and we're using canes for clubs. Already had one of our few customers come in and actually play a hole with us. Damn good times.

I rolled around in a wheelchair for about 15 minutes. I can get crusin pretty damn good with these things now, I just can't turn with a damn.

We made a mini soap opera with some Ty Beanie Babies. Ya know, added some Viagra and Valtrex, took a bunch of pictures, although it was kind of hard to explain when a customer came to the counter.

All this and I still have 3 hours left in my shift. What a glorious day this be.

Snowstorm Revisited

About two months ago I made a post about a gentleman who tweaked on us after we let him in the store even though he was closed.

Post can be found here.

Now our PIC (Pharmacist-In-Charge) decided to forgive the guy and allow him to keep coming to the store much to our disdain. He, again, became verberaly abusive to us and threatened several more times over the past two months. Needless to say he kept reaffirming what an asshole he actually is, yet we kept being told that he was ok to keep coming into the store.

I came into work on Friday and was informed that this person had died in their sleep last night. My first comment was, "Did he OD?" I was then chastised a bit for being on the cruel side seeing as he just died.

My question is this, why should I feel bad for some ass who just died? He was nothing but a prick to everyone when he came in not even counting the snowstorm instance. And I'm supposed to feel bad that he died? Fuck that. Call me a cold son of a bitch, but ya know what, Earth is probably a slightly better place now today. One less drunk/meth-head coming into fuck up my day is my main thought. Maybe I really am an ass...

Drug Reps Get a Kick in the Nuts

I heard about this at work earlier and had to dig up the article. Needless to say it made me giggle like a schoolgirl.

As part of a new policy that experts say is one of the toughest in the nation
blocking pharmaceutical companies from influencing doctors, the Duluth-based
health system recently got rid of nearly every freebie with a drug company name
on it.

You mean those lovely drug reps can no longer bribe doctors, nurses, receptions and janitors? Say it ain't so?!?

Do you have any idea how many times patients will show up with a prescription for a 'new' drug, lately this has been Coreg CR, when there is a generic on the market that is FAR cheaper. All because this doctor got a free lunch at the Olive Garden or some shit like that. I applaud SMDC for this choice.

In all, SMDC employees have turned in more than 18,700 items, including clocks,
mugs, surgical caps, calculators, tape dispensers, and a stress-relieving
squeeze toy made to look like a red blood cell.
Administrators plan to
donate the 20 shopping carts full of stuff to a hospital in Cameroon, where
supplies of all types are desperately needed -- and most of the advertised drugs
aren't available.

Thats my favorite part, that they actually rounded up all the pens, notepads and anything else with a logo on it. I peed myself a little when I heard that. Hell I peed a little when I thought about it again. Score one for us.

Article Link - http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/health/13881951.html (You can read it for free if you just put in a age/zip)

Pet Peeve of the Day

Why do people think we just lump all their records together under one file just because they're the same family? Four times today, so far, I've had someone come in who hasn't had anything filled by us before. When I ask if they have, they say yes. When I say they're not in there, they go "But my wife(or child or uncle or dog or gardner) gets prescriptions here." They don't seem to understand that we have to keep seperate records, much like a hospital, for each person.

One guy started to even argue with me over it, saying to just fill it under his wife's file. What the hell sense does that make? Some day I'm going to paint a big ass sign that say something like, We're not Wal-Mart, We're not a gas station, We help to keep you living and breathing each day, so stop treating us like we're McDonalds.

Eh maybe its just cause I didn't have my dew this morning...

Just call me... the Drug Pimp

This may sound a bit sadistic, but I receive some sort of joy in telling some crack head that he cannot have his pain meds. It's not as if I look forward to it, I would much rather not tell someone who is mentally unstable that they cannot have what they want, but I take some perverse pleasure in it. A similar feeling occurs when I discover a prescription has been forged.

I have decided that I am a Drug Pimp and all the methadone-loving, oxycontin-craving, lortab-hoarding crack heads are my 'hos.

You want your Lortab filled 12 days early? BITCH SLAP! No, 'Ho!

You say you lost your bottle on your trip to Nigeria? BITCH SLAP! Don't lie to me 'Ho!

You want to pay cash for something you picked up three days ago? BITCH SLAP! Who you foolin' 'Ho?!

All I need is a purple hat with a feather in it. Just call me... the Drug Pimp.