The 'Nevers'

Fewer singular words are more difficult to comprehend than the word never. We live our daily lives looking towards the future and under the assumption that we can do whatever we set our minds to.

There is no 'never' in this mindset.

We teach our children that they can grow up to be a world famous scientist or the president or a star football player. As we enter young adulthood, we are told we can be the next great business person or a well respected health professional.

There's always more in life to attain and time appears to be limitless.

But the truth is, the older you get the more 'nevers' become apparent.

For instance, I will never be an astronaut. Surely this was a fantasy in the most literal sense, but I am now officially beyond the most basic requirements. Even if I were to set every ounce of energy towards attaining this goal, I can no longer attain it.

As the number of 'nevers' increases over the years some choose to ignore them while others choose to embrace them.

Namely because when you start thinking about the 'nevers' a wave of sadness floods over one's self. We do not like the term because never is ultimately connected with one of our most feared words... death.

For instance, I will never talk to my good friend again. Never again will we meet up yearly in my hometown for a local event, drink beers on the deck of my home and laugh at those who doubted us in high school. It's a difficult and bitter pill to swallow, and it is intrinsically laced with the word 'never.

I will never recapture the sheer amount of unbridled fun of the first year in college. There were minimal stresses in life and when all of your friends live on the same wing of your dorm you ultimately form daily unforgettable experiences. Today, we're lucky if we can all gather but one time a year.

Not all 'nevers' are negative in nature.

Never again will I not know what it's like to be a father. Who knew someone so small could brighten even the darkest days?

Never again will I have to worried about being loved in the last few years I have found more people who care for me than in all previous years combined. For someone who has found the deepest of depths of despair, it is reassuring to know this fact.

These are 'nevers' that I can live with. And they make the less enjoyable 'nevers' a bit more barable.

So on days like today, remember what we may never be able to change the past. We may never be able to change how we feel. We may never be able to get over our own personal pain.

But that's okay. It makes us stronger, more resilient and ultimately a better person.

And in the end, that is what truly matters.