My Dream Job

I was trying to see how high I could stack hydrochlorothiazide last night, and you can stack those buggers pretty high, when I decided what my dream job would be. I want to name drugs and/or medical procedures. What was my inspiration? Golytely.

For those non-pharmacy geeks, Golytely (pronounced: Go-Lightly) is a liquid you drink prior to a colonoscopy to clean you out. The thing is, there's nothing lightly about it. It's more like a rocket ship which lasts for hours and hours. Such a sweet sounding name leads to an entire night spent on the Throne, praying to God that it all ends.

How fucking hard do you think the guy who thought that name up laughed? Seriously, I bet he pissed himself all over his corner office.

I've already have some ideas:

Gondola - It gives you images of a beautiful and serene journey along the canals of Venice. In reality I'm gonna shove a camera with a light up as your ass and take a look at your colon.

Paintbpee - Sounds like some kinda colorful kids artwork... ok kids don't paint with pee, but humor me. In reality it's a sulfa drug causing your urine to turn pretty colors. Always was jealous of that one

Loverocket - Every man's dream, to have a loveeeeeeeeeeeee rocket for his ladies. In reality, it's similar to muse and you get to shove a suppository (rocket shaped) up your urethra. Can you say sexy?

I mean I can think of this type of shit all day long. I think it's time to start a journal and maybe I'll send it to Abbott or Pfizer or something. Then perhaps my dream can come true!