Pharmacy Redemption

Here is another little benefit that no one ever mentions to newcomers to the pharmacy world. That is the joy of pharmacy redemption.

You see while working in a pharmacy you are blessed with medical knowledge. This knowledge is then applied to the people, i.e. the patients, who come into the pharmacy. Without every explicitly asking, you can generally tell what medication they have by what medications they pick up. Pretty simple really.

But there is an added joy to this knowledge. You can infer medical conditions of people you know who come in. And if that particular person has ever made their life hell and you find out they're suffering from... oh say genital herpes... why that just makes your fucking day.

For example when I was a wee lad starting out in the pharmacy world, a mere 15 years old, my first interest in drugs came in the form of anything that made you pee, shit or had something to do with STDs. I figure that's pretty typical of 15 year old boys or at least that's how I shall justify my depravity.

Now in school I had a guidance counselor who was a real bitch. I mean she would degrade Jesus until there was nothing left but his robe. One of those teachers who you know that, when they die, you can look down at the ground smiling because you know they are roasting in hell for all eternity.

Six months into my pharmacy career she walked through the front door of our store. Now she had recently gotten divorced from her husband, because of something she did, for 'unknown' reasons. She was smiling until she walked up to the counter and saw me standing there.

Little did I know what sweet vengeance this would be.

What was she picking up? A Rx for Valtrex. No, not with the directions for cold sores Valtrex. The I 'have Mount Vesuvius in various parts of my fun zone' Valtrex. I also noticed it was a fairly recent prescription for her as well.

Oh sweet Jesus was it a beautiful moment. She, of course, hurriedly exited the store and I finally let my repressed grin surface. Never again would she come back to the store. And, no, I did not joyfully tell anyone else about my experience. But that was my first taste of pharmacy redemption.

And damn it was good.

Thanks to a reader for sparking this glorious story from my memory