Operation Baby Ejection has Begun!

If you're reading this post, it means that little Mason (yes that is his name) has decided to claw his way out of the wife.

I have no idea if I'll be gone from this site for a week or a month. As you read this I am stepping into the great unknown, only without my trusty flask this time.

Wish me luck.

The Real Point of Pharmacy School

Time is elusive... an almost mythical component of life. Often it seems as if it is plentiful, yet quickly it evaporates. Confused, you scramble around attempting to make up for it, but often it is too late.

Such is the life of a pharmacy student. Walls routinely collapse around you and part of the test is being able to survive and climb out of it. All the while you chase time... more and more time.

It seems as if we're being tested on our mental toughness as much as the material. And this makes sense, in the real world you do not work within nicely defined borders. Being adaptive and able to cope with stress in the face of adversity is one of the best skills you can develop.

Often I tell people the best thing you can ever learn is that you are can be wrong. For many it is a hard fact to accept as in order to reach this level of education you have to be egotistical and believe, to an extent, that you are mentally infallible.

Yet the opposite is true, we're all mentally infallible and in fact we may be more prone to it. Over confidence is predominate among myself and many of my classmates as a byproduct of the process in arriving here.

This makes it very, very hard to look yourself in the mirror and admit your faults.

I argued during my interviews that I was apt to not only be an excellent pharmacy student, but an excellent pharmacist because I have failed numerous times. Due to those experiences, I know how to control my emotions and develop a train of rational thought to overcome that failure. It is, at least in my mind, one of the best skills I possess.

Pharmacy school is about failure, whether they want to admit that or not. It's about not having enough time or struggling with material or actually failing an exam. We are not only learning mountains of material, but we are developing a mental toughness and agility which will be essential in our daily professional lives.

I wish there was someway to adequately explain this to many of my classmates. I know, and see, so many who are overly stressed out to the point where I wonder sometimes if they'll survive the next few years. Ironically enough I am almost certain one of my classmates regularly reads this little blog, so at least one person may be aware of it.

One test does not make a person any more than it breaks one. The light at the end of the tunnel, however faint, will eventually arrive, probably more quickly than we imagine.

So to all of you fellow first year pharmacy students who find them struggling throughout this initial year, heed this advice. Learn from your mistakes, but don't dwell on them.

Lastly you're not alone. We're all struggling in our own ways, even if we don't outwardly show it.

I will gladly crack a beer for anyone who needs to have a drink after this semester. Trust me on that.

Breathing, Peeing and Pooping, Oh My!

Depressing notion for the week... Walked into the library today and the librarian who's working the desk looks at me and goes:

Well hello! So nice to see you again!

I think that's a bad a sign. Or a good sign. Or... I don't know what the hell it means.

Alas, this is the fifth straight night I have been in this wretched little library. Tonight I am learning the intricacies of breathing, peeing and pooping.

Who said there's no glory in studying the human body?

Three more days and freedom awaits me... at least until the little bugger makes his initial appearance. As I sit in the study at night going over material, every time I here her move in the bedroom my blood pressure shoots up as I prepare for her to walk in and say, "It's time."

It's like a game of Russian Roulette, only instead of a bullet it's a small child.

Before one of our finals on Friday, a classmate of mind was bitching to me about how 'stressful' it has been studying for the exams this week.

Really? My wife is about to eject a watermelon from an area which seems like it does not have the space to eject a watermelon. Every time my BlackBerry flashes the LED colors signifying I have a message from her (BTW: if you have a BB, look up the app BerryBuzz. You'll thank me later) my heart flutters a little bit.

Pretty sure when it actually does happen, I will either hyperventilate, piss or shit my pants. Maybe all three, who knows.

At least I know now how precisely each process works. Although we never did cover birthing...

Because God Said So

I'm man enough to admit not only do I not know everything, but that I continually learn new things almost every day. About a week ago there was a note on a patient's prescription asking if she had new insurance coverage for her birth control prescription.

Her response was that since she worked for a 'really religious' organization they had decided that certain medical treatments defied the will of God and that they would not pay for these items. In this case, one of these 'treatments' was birth control. There were also other 'treatments' that were not allowed, but she didn't really wish to discus them.

And no, the organization was not a church or anything similar to that.

In my mind there is no point to delve into a debate on personal beliefs because we each have our own. Mine is no more superior to yours than yours is to mine. We believe what we believe and leave it at that.

This, however, I do have a problem with. How can you deprive someone, specifically an employee, medical coverage for something because of someone else's belief? How is that fair to others?

Furthermore, how is that deemed acceptable in modern health care? What's to keep the CEO of company from deciding, "Ya know what, I don't believe in warfarin therapy because of my God the Flying Spaghetti Monster and I don't want our health insurance to cover it anymore."

Ridiculous? Sure it is, but the scary thing is that that instance really isn't terribly far from what has happened to this poor woman. She seemed like a well educated and well adjusted married adult woman who simply does not want to have children at this time. And yet she is being punished, in a way, for being responsible.

Sure she could just leave her job, but who is really willing to do that in this economy?

I'm all for expecting and honoring every one's beliefs. But when your beliefs deprive an innocent person medical coverage, then I have a bone to pick with you. Push your beliefs through pamphlets, mass emails, televisions ads, whatever pleases you.

But for the love of God, don't deprive people of their right to health care.

Pun most definately intended.

Big Fish in a Huge Pond

Pharmacy school, much like starting any new school, is all about adjustment. For the most part, you roll with the punches until you find your new equilibrium. It's a struggle at times, but eventually you come to peace with the new situation.

Only after that do you realize you see the elephant in the room and discover what is, for most, the biggest struggle to cope with.

Let's face it, if you're in pharmacy school you're highly intelligent. Chances are you did very well in grade school, very well in high school and very well during undergrad. You were the proverbial "big fish in a small pond."

Some people relish this fact and will consistently remind you of how smart they are on a regular basis. These are the people who came very near death during many of my undergrad courses. And I say that with utter and complete certainty.

In pharmacy school it's different. Everyone here is intelligent. For many the pond has grown so huge that not only are you not the big fish, but you very well may be completely insignificant. It's a fact which sneaks up on as you are completely unaware of this change.

In actuality, this alone may explain so many of the frustrations we feel during this first semester. When you're used to getting high As and being the prized jewel of the class, but instead you're fighting tooth and nail merely to get a C... well it's a sobering experience.

I imagine for some this new hierarchy will be exceeding difficult to follow. Already I have noticed some personalities within my class changing ever so slightly. Whether this is attributed to the Big Fish Syndrome or whether it's related to something entirely different I do not know. Yet it is there, clear as day.

So I sit here in the medical library and proudly exclaim that I am a big fish in a huge pond. Except I'm not just a fish... I'm a shark. And I'm gonna come back and bite some ass in the future.

Something To Read

Blogging is such an intimate endeavor. Many people bare the inner workings of their soul to complete strangers on a daily basis. I cannot ever describe how immensely therapeutic it is to have a site like this.

That being said, occasionally you stumble upon something that is rather powerful. I'm not a huge fan of posting things from other sites, but this is something worth a read. I highly doubt I could ever share something of this nature, and to say what I respect what is written here may be the understatement of the month.

Enjoy.

Edit: When I originally composed this post, there were no recent posts other than the last link I've posted. If anyone has any words of encouragement or anything of solace to offer, I encourage you to leave it.

My Life Exploded - Part I
My Life Exploded - Part II
My Life Exploded - Part III
My Life Exploded - Part IV