Every day we cheat death. It is not something we readily acknowledge despite its prevalence.
We choose to eat a low fat salad for lunch. We choose to drive just a little slower on the freeway after a scare.We choose to go for that three mile run when all we want is to drink a beer on the couch.
Jusitifying it as a desire for "healthy living" we go about our lives without acknowledging that what we are really doing is avoiding the inevitable for just a little while longer. Each person has a differing reason for following such a winding, and often difficult, path.
Many years ago I realized I didn't want to just live my life as a mindless drone in a dead-end job. I did not want to be the person who merely went through the motions of bringing home a check, driving the kids to soccer practice and then hit repeat every day. I wanted to do something different, something unique, something... special.
It is one of the reasons I chose pharmacy. Hell, it is one of the reasons this site exists.
I have few selfish desires in my daily life. I put the vast majority of free energy towards my wife and son because... well they deserve it. For many years my main daily goal has been to make people happy. For my wife it may be a simple massage at the end of a long day, for family and friends it is my intentionally hilarious comments on Facebook or Twitter.
Ultimately though I begin wonder if I will be remembered.
I have always wanted to do something truly great, something that makes people step back and be amazed. I always said one of my goal's in pharmacy was to change the world in some way before my time was done. How I will accomplish this remains a mystery, yet a part of me feels that this particular time will come.
Yet a small part of this desire was born in spite. Far too many times in my life, especially my "school yard" days, I was dismissed or told I would not amount to much. Since that time I have always been driven to not only prove them wrong, but to make them feel humble in their judgements.
As the years have worn on and I have continued on this process, my ultimate desires have become more personal. Today I would be very content just knowing my son, wife and family were proud of me. Everything else is secondary to this point.
And yet, there is still that desire to attain greatness... the ability to look back on my life many decades from now and smile knowing that I am going to leave this world a better place.
I guess the ultimate question is... Will you remember me?
7 comments:
You know, in the end, if we make to our 70s/80s, I truly believe we're not going to care so much about how many people knew us to remember us, but rather with what quality those that were the closest to us remember us with. Along the lines of doing one thing and doing it well is better than trying to do many things and not being good at any of them.
As you get on in years and see what you've invested in your son come to fruition you'll see where man's best legacy is recorded. Where true greatness lies.
That's just my take on it. I know how you feel, everyone feels it to some level. I had similar aspirations but as I get older, all I really want is for my daughter to know that I love her and put nothing else before her. Love her enough to correct her where it's needed, and to nurture and prod her where that's needed. I feel like I'm just lucky, but can't help being a little prideful when I get reports of how smart, sweet, well behaved and manored she is.
Did you ever see this video tribute about remember those lost?
It is about a man'd beloved dog... but the message is the same, and I thought of it while reading your post.
http://blip.tv/mauijames/do-you-remember-love-poem-to-a-dog-701034
I have to agree with GregMo...while I would be one who'd miss this site if it goes away (a lot of your rants sound like mine), the ultimate mark of who you are is how your wife, son, immediately, and friends remember you, and from how you present yourself, I think you'll do just fine there.
Ultimately from this corner, whether anyone remembers me or not is irrelevant, sometimes even damaging since most people only seem to remember the worst things about someone. As long as those who know me best remember me well, then I'd say it was a job well done.
However, this site would be missed....
I think everyone wants to leave behind a legacy of some sorts to have something people remember them by after they are gone. For me, I hope people would sit at my funeral and say "he wasn't perfect, but he was a good guy and a good friend." That would be enough for me.
As for doing something to be remembered. You've already accomplished that feat. The greatest legacy a person can have is to become a parent and pass on at least some values to the next generation.
I would like to do something memorable. Maybe write a book? I've always thought about it. Heck, I feel like my blog is something. But I never wanted to start a blog to be remembered. I was simply creating a forum for myself. I just wanted a place to go where I had the freedom to write and challenge myself. I thought I didn't have a voice or an outlet to share my opinions. And that is a bad feeling for anyone to carry around. So I created a blog to become my voice. And I'm glad I did. Even if I won't be remembered for it.
Interesting! An immediate family member of mine was a Sen,ator for 35+ years before retiring, though he is still involved in many causes. Several years ago he had a street named after him and many important people from across the country came to honor him and all the work he had done for many causes. Some of these people came with an armory of security, it was quite surreal. His legacy was discussed from different perspectives from many people (at least 30); at different points in their life, and in different positions. Many hours later, but right before breaking for the reception, he was asked to say a few words. The very first thing that he said (and I am just paraphrasing here) was that many people don't get to hear "these" types of things about themselves because it's usually at their funeral and it's quite amazing to hear all of these things, and be part of this amazing group of people and most importantly my family! I am glad I am being remembered and WILL BE REMEMBERED! And to be honest, he's right! Hope school is going well! Haven't been by in sometime to see how it's going and this is just the first entry I have read. Have a great week!
Very useful information
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The folks I remember most are the ones who reached out to help. As a pharmacist you probably do that every day. Believe me, you will be remembered.
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