Oh woe is me.
That simple statement is the underlying theme of pharmacy school, at least if you ask people who are either in it or have recently escaped it. Little variation exists from person to person as while the verbiage may change, the tone does not.
As I slowly begin to rediscover my pharmacy mojo and climb out of this funk from the last few months I am discovering just how truly unhappy the vast majority of students here are. It is such a collection of disdain and frustration that at times it is almost overwhelming.
Even those who put on the most stoic of faces, are internally crumbling. Many are too proud to admit their struggles or to admit their frustrations. After years of being used to academic success, it is a bitter realization that one may be forced to struggle to earn merely average grades.
Nor will it become any easier. At least not yet.
And one has to wonder when this feeling will ever end. Honestly, I think the majority of success one has in this program is learning how to mitigate these feelings. Despite the pamphlets and the emails and the meetings, they never tell you one of the important tests you'll be faced with over the next four years. That is the fact that you will be mentally broken down and slowly rebuilt as the curriculum wears on.
It's the equivalent of academic boot camp.
But we mustn't feel sorry for ourselves. We mustn't drown ourselves in the almost sweltering pressure that at times seems unending.
For we are not alone. No matter what the surface may show, beneath it there is little difference. We're all in this hell-hole together, and we're going to be buried under it for a few more years.
So to hell with it I say. To hell with being overly stressed to the point of exhaustion. To hell with trick exams and impossible objectives. To hell with letting an academic program attempt to break me.
The worst may be yet to come, but I say bring it on. Because I'm taking this bitch on head on from this moment forward.
Who's with me?
4 comments:
You are still in 1st year right?? 2nd year is SOOO much better. I'm just finishing it now. You finally start learning the core of pharmacy knowledge and I think for those who have been in pharmacy it actually does get a lot better. My gpa was around a 2.8 after first year, but now has been averaging around a 3.8. My study habits haven't really changed, and I've actually been more busy. Yeah, still stressful to a point, but much much much better. So hang in there!
Pft. From what I can tell pharmacy school isn't going to be that tough when I matriculate this fall. It's all classes and tests with little or no creativity; just a bunch of memorization. It's not much fun, but I thrive in that type of academic environment.
Enjoy your college days. Your diploma and license will hold as much weight whether you graduate with a 2.0 or a 4.0. When you get woken up at 3 in the morning while you're on call because some dumb ass LPN locked the keys to the med cart inside a drawer in said med cart (yes, it will be your responsibility to troubleshoot and fix such issues if you go into LTC) you'll reflect fondly on this time of your life.
I tend to agree with commenter Jessica that things will hopefully get better in your second year. I think there is still some 'weeding out' that goes on in first year, although I agree with you that the 'trickery' in exams and lectures is total bullshit. Yes, they are trying to teach you to think critically and pay attention to detail, but until you have the foundations of pharmacology or med. chem. in your background it is just an exercise in frustration and doesn't teach you anything. It's a tough, demanding program, so take the pressure off yourself and just keep workin'. I do think it's a shame that the school is making you bitter and frustrated rather than excited to learn the profession -- they are doing something wrong if that's the case.
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