Roughly one year ago today I received notice from the first school I interviewed at that I was waitlisted. It was a crushing blow for me at the time, especially when the wife and I were hoping to have some idea of where we would be living a year from now.
To say I was unsure of myself would be a vast understatement. I said to myself, at the time, that if I did finally get accepted to a school that I would finally believe that I was destined to be a pharmacist.
One year later and I'm still unsure.
But think of all that's changed for me in the past year. I had a spat with the company I worked with for 6+ years ultimately resulting in me resigning and being unemployed for five weeks. I ended up being accepted to four schools all across the country and shortly thereafter I found out I'd be a father for the first time. And we got the cutest puppy the world has ever seen.
We moved to a completely new area for us, devoid of everything we know in the hopes of starting a new life here. A little over a month ago I suddenly lost one of the best friends I'll ever have. And here I sit, the day before Thanksgiving, scrambling to get in studying in case the baby decides to arrive early.
That's a helluva lot of change in one year.
Pharmacy school is what I expected and is not what I expected. I have yet to decide if it is something specific to differences in how they are doing things this year or if it has something to do with myself. In the last two months I have questioned if this is something I truly want to do more than at any other point in my life.
Yet, despite all of the change and all of the hardships, I still find myself proclaiming "Hell yes this is what I want to do!" It's more that this proclamation comes far and few in-between as of late.
And it's only going to get worse.
T-minus three years and six months to go...
6 comments:
Hang in there. Don't lose sight of the ring.
On shitty med school days I tried to remember how I felt when I got my acceptance letter.
I just wanted to say, there is nothing like being in pharmacy school to make you doubt wether you realy want to be a pharmacists. We all go through it. Hang in there!
Believe it or not Phat it all goes by fast. Before you know it you'll be done with pharmacy school. They keep you so busy that the time will fly by. And in case you've forgotten I want to just remind you that it is worth it in the end!
The best day of my life was the day I graduated pharmacy school. In some ways, it even eclipses the day HusBot 5000 and I got married (and I'm crazy about that guy). Everything I went through to get there was worth it, and every day of work that has come after has been better than I could have hoped.
Keep your stick on the ice!
20+ years in the profession. (I thought I'd do pharmacy during the week and have weekends off to pursue other avocations.)
Pharmacy degree provided a ticket to decent living for family and self. I remember it seemed there was a sick child or other family situations before major exams and projects (when attempting to memorize tons of new information I'd be rocking a little sick one).
It came down to the decision to choose to study 'just in case'.
The school was small enough that the college professors were aware. The semesters that my husband and I were working 5 jobs between us...we received anonymous Christmas baskets, and I made the Dean's List.
After a while came to conclusions: 1. it was my job to stay well and study, study, study, and 2. it was all part of what I'd bring to career choice--a lot of empathy with patients and others!
Hang in there. It doesn't really get easier, but efficiency gets fine-tuned and some of the stuff becomes more relevant and sticks together.
That *is* a lot of change. Best of luck to you and your wife. Congrats on the little one on the way!
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