Hi there, Phathead here for a helpful public service announcement.
Did you know we live in 21st century America? That we have such fantastical gadgets like the cellular phone and mobile computer. There is also this thing invented by former Vice-President Al Gore called the Inter-Net.
It is truly a wondrous time to be alive, wouldn't you agree?
Seeing as we have such wondrous technology to better our daily lives, why do we not use it more? There is no sense in using inferior technology like vacuum-tube computers, the phonograph or anything made in Canada.
Really, it comes to one simple sentence, and I want you to say it aloud with me.
Are you ready?
Stop fucking writing checks at the check-out line.
You see, with these new technologies, the ancient skill of writing checks is now obsolete. Much like we ditched the stone table and chisel for an Apple iPad, you too can ditch that lowly checkbook.
Did you know that at most retailers your check is processed just like a credit card? If you did not know this fact and/or your mind is blown, well the rest of this announcement is for you!
Did you know that you don't even have to write the check the majority of the time. Those little fancy robotic printer machines will do it for you!
And there is an even simpler way to conduct yourself at a check-out line. Don't whip out the checkbook at all! Leave it at home where it belongs writing checks for your mortgage, health insurance and pornography subscriptions.
There is a reason you have that little plastic card in your wallet called a Debit Card. And I'll let ya in on a little secret, it does the exact same thing as your check!
Amazing!
So next time there is a line of ten people behind you and you being to carefully write out a check, stop, step back and remember:
Stop fucking writing checks at the check-out line.
Let's make the world a better place, one non-check at a time!
This public service announcement has been paid for, and endorsed, by Phathead, Pharm.D. Candiate, Class of 2014. All rights reserved. ©
4 comments:
Nope, I'll keep writing checks. The actual act of writing the check makes me think twice about spending the money. I also balance my check book, plan what I want to buy, and save more money for investing. My spouse, who is a debit card junkie, has managed to blow through 80,000 dollars a swipe at a time. But the rest of you, go ahead and piss yours away because our economy is now a giant earn and consume treadmill.
I remember one time at work specifically that always makes me laugh when I think about customers writing checks. I had a customer that filled a prescription and the insurance co-pay came back as $0.11. I helped the person at the pick up window and yes she paid by check for $0.11. I don't know what made me laugh more: the fact that her insurance actually made her pay such a ridiculously small co-pay or the fact that she paid by check. To this day that is the smallest co-pay (other than the zero co-pays) that I've ever seen. In her defense she was very old and lived alone so I think writing a check and updating her checkbook was how she was able to keep up with her finances on her own. Plus with many people I think it's just an old habit they can't break. But sometimes I do want to yell out "I have two words for you: debit card" LOL.
But its the people who insist on writing out the check, entering the amount on their check register and doing the subtraction so they know their new balance BEFORE they hand over the check that make me want to hurt them.
What's a check?
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